Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Day 2


The world is still beautiful despite my instinctive resistance to swallowing three huge pills of Chemo twice a day.  As long as I feel good, I intend to keep working hard on the Memoir.  

I actually went to the store by myself.  I'm having terrible dry eye and I feel thorns under my lids.  Part of it may be sitting in front of the computer too long.  I find it difficult t to read at night.  I bought some ointment for night that helped immensely.  Last night I felt my eyes would burn out of their sockets.  I can also feel some fatigue.  I am an uninterested shopper, and I was glad to get home with my ointment.

Beyond that, I picked apricots, fed the chickens, watered all kinds of new plants I have planted  right above the cacti, near the pressure-treated boards.:  Oleander (6), succulents, bougainvillea, though I don't know how yours look so beautiful and mine so klaeglich.

Suz's doctors want me to be FAT, so Suz is making me eat bread an olive oil, on top of the almond butter and whip cream , but that's no fun if you're not hungry.

Once in a while my upper lip quivers, almost as if you'd been to the dentist and it's numb.  Rich explained that these drugs are powerful and affect the nervous system.
    
Beyond that, I feel really good, but I suppose that will change, so I'll take it easy.  While I can, I will walk Jo Mullen's new pit bull to see if I can handle this  super-strong animal.  But It will be good for her AND for me.  Since, if she sees one, she will tear any other dog or animal apart, I think I'll walk her up and down Grandma Betty's driveway where other dogs are unlikely.
    
What's to me amazing is that I'm calm. No anxiety (no drugs)--so different from 30 years ago which ws, every second for four years, sheer torture.  But at that time I held everything in, told no one , not even my office mate.  Big mistake.  It becomes a leaden burden on one's head to keep it locked away--in shame, I suppose.
    
So far, I could truly say I'm happy.  Strange, mysterious, somehow.  For now, anyway.

No comments:

Post a Comment