The world is still beautiful despite my instinctive
resistance to swallowing three huge pills of Chemo twice a day. As long as I feel good, I intend to
keep working hard on the Memoir.
I
actually went to the store by myself.
I'm having terrible dry eye and I feel thorns under my lids. Part of it may be sitting in front of
the computer too long. I find it
difficult t to read at night. I
bought some ointment for night that helped immensely. Last night I felt my eyes would burn out of their
sockets. I can also feel some
fatigue. I am an uninterested
shopper, and I was glad to get home with my ointment.
Beyond that, I picked apricots, fed the chickens, watered all kinds of
new plants I have planted right
above the cacti, near the pressure-treated boards.: Oleander (6), succulents, bougainvillea, though I don't know
how yours look so beautiful and mine so klaeglich.
Suz's doctors want me to be FAT, so Suz is making me eat bread an olive
oil, on top of the almond butter and whip cream , but that's no fun if you're
not hungry.
Once in a while my upper lip quivers, almost as if you'd been to the
dentist and it's numb. Rich
explained that these drugs are powerful and affect the nervous system.
Beyond that, I feel really good, but I suppose that will change, so I'll
take it easy. While I can, I will
walk Jo Mullen's new pit bull to see if I can handle this super-strong animal. But It will be good for her AND for
me. Since, if she sees one, she
will tear any other dog or animal apart, I think I'll walk her up and down
Grandma Betty's driveway where other dogs are unlikely.
What's to me amazing is that I'm calm. No anxiety (no drugs)--so
different from 30 years ago which ws, every second for four years, sheer
torture. But at that time I held
everything in, told no one , not even my office mate. Big mistake. It
becomes a leaden burden on one's head to keep it locked away--in shame, I
suppose.
So far, I could truly say I'm happy. Strange, mysterious, somehow. For now, anyway.
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