Update from Gabriele, September 25, 2012

Dear All,

May Swenson's poem "Question" is the question I have asked myself for many years.  Its three metaphors--my house, my horse, my hound--are exquisite and powerful, and whether we like it or not, Swenson's question is one we all eventually must ask.  


Question

Body, my house
my horse, my hound
what will I do 
when you are fallen

Where will I sleep
How will I ride
What will I hunt

Where can I go
without my mount
all eager and quick
How will I know
in thicket ahead
is danger or treasure
when Body my good
bright dog is dead

How will it be 
to lie in the sky
without roof or door
and wind for an eye

With cloud for shift
How will I hide?


I've been hospitalized  at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles for over two weeks, the same hospital I visited in June for a battery of tests just after my diagnosis.  This time, I am fighting the chemotherapy effects, intense abdominal pain, and infections of every kind.  But despite all this, I still believe my faithful body can withstand the assault.  

With love and gratitude,

Gabriele

Update from Rich, Sept. 18th, 2012

Hi Friends and Family,                                    

Here’s an update on Gabriele. We all thank you for your concern, your prayers, and your healing thoughts. Gabriele is an in-patient at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles where she was admitted 11 days ago for a low platelet and white blood cell count due to the last round of IV chemotherapy. It is the same drug that put her in Stanford Hospital in July, only last time the medication was given orally, and this time the drug was given IV. Her oncologist felt that IV wouldn’t be as toxic; the side effects were sure different.

Her white blood count and platelets are starting to go up, her spirit remains strong, and she keeps saying she is happy; Stephanie, Suzanne, Simone, and I are at the hospital every day with her, and we feel the care she is getting is excellent. The doctors are trying to get her labs up to an acceptable level so she is strong for a major surgical procedure to remove the tumors.                   

I will continue to respond to email when I can. 

Best,

Richard

More information and details can be found on Suzanne's website; search the last few entries, or search "gabriele"

www.walkingpapers.wordpress.com

Update, September 16, 2012

This is Steph writing.

Mom is still hospitalized, waiting for the effects of the 5-FU to wear off.  The mucositis, an ulceration of her mucosal tissues, has been the most painful, creating sores throughout Mom's mouth and, most painfully, down her throat.  Her lips were blistered and turned briefly black, but these superficial scabs quickly fell off to reveal soft, lovely, slightly swollen pink lips that Mom has dubbed her "L.A. lips."  

But the most dangerous by far has been the bone marrow suppression.  This round, the 5-FU affected this critical blood creator, the fountain of all blood cells.  Her platelets fell first, then the red blood cells.  Transfusions of both platelets and red cells are relatively easy, but there is no transfusion for white blood cells.  We are now in a waiting game, her white count falling dangerously low, triggering a host of antibiotics that hung from the IV stand like so many crazy Christmas ornaments, or a German Easter Egg tree.  Her stent is also narrowed, which partially obstructed and caused her to vomit so much that she created a small tear in her stomach mucosa.  

We now have her in the PCU (Progressive Care Unit), where the nurses only have three patients to attend to rather than six.  She is being extremely carefully watched by what Todd called a "loaded boat," including a gastroenterologist, a surgeon, an oncologist, a hemotologist, an internal medicine doctor, and an infectious diseases specialist.  Her white count is slowly but steadily rising, she is as comfortable as we can make her, she has one of us by her side from early morning throughout the day and late into the night,  and through it all she maintains her sense of humor, just about always.  I am so proud to be her daughter.

Suzi, Simone and I have learned the basics of Reiki, a Japanese meditation/energy practice.  It gives my mom a lot of comfort, and it's a lovely way for us to help ourselves handle the stresses.  As always, we are so grateful for all the messages, prayers, and energy that is being sent our way.  Thank you.

love, Steph

The four of us, circa 1994

Update, Sept. 11th, 2012

Hi everyone, this is Stephanie writing again.

My mom had to be hospitalized again due to serious side effects of chemotherapy.  Suzi has written about it on her blog:

http://walkingpapers.wordpress.com/2012/09/10/e-r/

Mom continues to be in pretty good spirits, although she is weak from the suppression of her bone marrow, which has affected her ability to create new blood and platelets.  She has received several transfusions and is in the care of a number of wonderful doctors at Cedars Sinai hospital.  We now just have to wait for her body to metabolize the 5-FU and heal itself.  Then we'll have to see which direction we can go.

In the meantime, Suzi, Simone, and I have begun to learn Reiki to help both ourselves and my mom.  It's very centering.  We are grateful for all of your  good wishes, and love all of the positive energy streaming our way.

Love, Steph

Update, September 6th, 2012

Hi everyone,

This is Stephanie writing.  I want to update you on my mom's condition.  She has now completed her fourth round of chemotherapy and we are awaiting the scan results of her tumors to see how much they have been affected by the chemo drugs.

In the meantime, it's been up and down.   Mom has a hard time eating, so we've been working with her 'round the clock to get enough calories in her--she refers to this as "stuffing her like a goose."  Her weight has remained more or less stable.  The oncologist upped the 5FU dose a little this round, edging ever closer to that line between affecting the tumors and affecting her body, and Tuesday she showed signs of mucositis.  Her mouth and lips are swollen, and her esophagus hurts, but as yet her GI tract seems stable and there is no diarrhea.

We took a trip to the emergency room this morning to make sure there was no bacterial infection and to figure out how to manage the pain she's having with swallowing.   She's resting comfortably, ate a cinnamon roll and a quarter cup of soup, and so we are quite hopeful that we have caught the mucositis early enough to avoid any hospitalization.

I'll update this site again in a couple of days.  We truly appreciate all of your thoughts, prayers, and healing energy coming our way.

Love, Steph